July 15th, 2017, today is National “Give Something Away Today Day” & Toss Away the “Could Haves” and “Should Haves” Day! And, I thought it was just Richard’s and my 33rd Wedding Anniversary! Wow, do I have a lot to celebrate today, and so do you.
On Jun 13th, 1982, I met my best friend, the man I would eventually marry, two years, one month and two days later. Friends and family said it wouldn’t last but, I think they were wrong. It’s true we came from different backgrounds, and neither one of us ever planned on marrying outside of our faith, but friendship was and is what keeps us together. Friendship has developed into love and a bond that does not have words nor an explanation.
What I can give away today and toss in your direction is that love is about friendship. To develop a friendship, you must be willing to listen and learn and appreciate one another through thick or thin. You do not have to agree, but you have the strength to communicate with each other when you right or wrong. It is not about pointing out someone else’s faults but noting your own and correcting them.
The second part of a relationship is accepting that friend whom you love to be the person they are. That is the person you chose, do not attempt to change them. However, in a relationship we both must be willing to collaborate and make subtle changes to accommodate our partnership, it is not an all or nothing, and it is not 50/50. The percentages will change, and the scales will never be one hundred percentage balanced because one friend will be more accommodating than other. That’s love in all its variations.
I refuse to celebrate the “Could Haves” and “Should Haves.” I have made my choices in life, and it is my responsibility to embrace them and make them the best. I believe for every choice I didn’t make I wouldn’t be where I am today, and I am happy today. Even if there is a chance I could be happier, if I made other choices, the same could be said, I might be in worse shape for those could haves and should haves. It’s not about living in the past but moving forward. Enjoy the memories of the past that brought you here and accept that they were meant to be. Look at me; I am married thirty-three years, not counting tomorrow!
Today I am missing some loving people that shared our special wedding day:
• Edwin Hale, my father in law, more like a dad and Loretta Hale, friend, mother in law, and my second mom.
• Gloria Jaffe Siegel, cousin, mentor, the sister of my dreams.
• Uncle Asher, my father’s brother, could have been his twin, and Aunt Jeannie
• Aunt Lieba, my father’s sister who everyone said I looked like, and Uncle Herb
• J. Harmon Moss, my Pop, I always wanted to be Daddy’s Little Girl, and I didn’t realize I was until he was gone. Forever in my heart.
• Dorothy DVASHA Baube Moss, my Mom, the woman who I was blessed to spend the end of her life with and get to know and love deeply.
Although I have a lot to celebrate, Rich and I will do so in our way. It doesn’t include a fancy expensive restaurant dinner, or a romantic getaway or huge anniversary party. Today, Rich will be working as will I and we will continue our daily lives cherishing the fact that we can be the people we are and at the end of the day enjoy the moments we have with each other.
Love is never having to pretend!
33 going on 34!
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