Today I can actually say I a HAPPILY GRATEFUL although I am feeling a twinge of loneliness. It has been many years since I spent a Thanksgiving with my mom (or dad) and because of that, it doesn’t change the holiday itself. However, Rich, Alex and I always found a way to drive up to West Bloomfield for at least an overnight right before or right after the holiday to add a little extra flavor to the day.
I remember last year; Alex arranged a special broadcast of the Michigan / OSU Game from Dave & Busters in Livonia, Michigan. The night before we met up with mom for dessert at the STAGE DELI with the most decadent desserts. My niece Sue and her twins Wylie and Haley joined us too. It started out as a typical gathering talking about the usual, my asking, “what’s new?” and asking, “what’s new with you?” As I have shared, mom was not senile. However this was her typical way of getting information out of you, she did this most of my life, it had nothing to do with her age of 90 +.
Last Thanksgiving season was a little tough for my mother, over the two previous months, mom lost two sister-in-laws. One was once a girlfriend, who was to her brother who passed away years ago, the other my Aunt Lieba. Aunt Lieba was not just a sister-in-law she was the mom’s little sister she gained when mom married my dad. Although they were as different as night as day, they kept in touched, enjoyed each other’s company, and my mother was filling the void with her loss. (I preface this for the next bit of information.)
As we were sitting around eating our decadent desserts, I mentioned we should have ordered the seven-layer cake, in memory of Aunt Lieba, because she loved seven-layer cake. Out of nowhere (or maybe somewhere), my mother blurts out, “I miss Lieba, but Betty deserved to die, she was mean!” Not only did mom have everyone at our table laughing but the waitress and the people at the next table could not stop laughing either.
My outspoken mother never held back, she could say what was on her mind, and even it was true and a bite to it she delivered it like a joke, unbeknownst to her. She never thought she was funny, and never thought of herself as being mean, she believed in honesty. However, she taught her children “you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar…” Maybe she thought because her name was DVasha (Honey) she could add a little vinegar to her words and it was ‘ok.’
This year I will miss driving up to Michigan to see mom, to get my family fix! However, I am starting a few new traditions this year.
Let me begin by thanking some of my new and old friends:
Rachelle King – Thank you for the invitation to join you and family and friends for bowling and friends. Although we are unable to join you this year, we feel so thankful for you and all you have added to our family. We look forward to a continued relationship as you are a bright light in our lives.
Marci Golub – It has taken awhile, but we finally have a date on the calendar and Rich, and I are looking forward to just sharing new journeys together with you and Bill. Life has many twist and turns, and sometimes we must just find new paths, and I am glad I found new visions.
Terry Tierney- to our new Italian Ethnic (almost Jewish) family. 2017 is our new beginning and Rich, and I are excited to become part of the wonderful little circle. You make me smile and feel so at peace, and I hope that what I have learned through my beautiful DVasha will shine through to you.
To Blanche, Dennis, Robbin, Cheryl, & Adam – just a few of my Detroit friends, the door is always open here. I look forward to growing our past into our future.
I am thankful for Rabbi Avi Shapiro (I think he lets me win at Words with Friends), Rabbi Joseph Krakoff, and Mark Tripodi (Corner Stone of Hope), without the support of “wise men” processing life these past few months would have been much more challenging.
Lastly, I am grateful for my family – specifically my three men:
Richard MY HUSBAND & BEST FRIEND
Steven MY FIRST BORN
Alex MY I’MPOSSIBLE DREAM
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