I am not the first person to have lost a parent! I am not the first person to have experienced loss! And yet I feel like I am taking a journey that is unknown to others…
When my father died in February 2004, I felt alone and lost! I never cried! I tried, but I felt like I had to stay strong for my mom, my sons and-and the great grandchildren that were too young to comprehend that Zayde was gone. I chose to keep my father close and feel him in my heart in each day, and I have held a place inside of me in which he has filled me up with joy and reminds me that life is so precious, it is not to be wasted!
When dad was ill and dying, my mother kept us all away. It was her time with dad. My mom was the strong matriarch of the family. She may have only stood 4 ft 11 inches in her stocking feet at her tallest height in life, but she was larger than life in so many ways. I always thought it was my father’s none smiling face that I should fear but the reality of life with my parents there was nothing to fear. I was blessed with two loving parents who did their best with the tools they had to love their children equally.
I never took the time to reflect on my father’s illness or death as my dad took his medical issues in stride and fought through them my whole life bouncing back from one ill or another with the determination to live life with his beautiful DVasha.
Today, I am feeling lost; I am like a little orphan, no mother, no father, and feeling empty.I am walking around in a daze not accomplishing the work I need to get done. My mind keeps drifting, and I want to share something with my mom, I want Alex to call my dad about the Game 7 of the World Series tonight. However, I know the reality is, I can’t! The best I can do is hold them close in my heart and share their lives with you and when I do come to terms with my loss.
When we share our stories, the honey will flow and mingle, and we will become one..