Walk Beside Your Memories

mothers-hold

I cannot believe it’s been three weeks since I told my mother I love her. The morning of October 11th I know I talked to her, and hugged her and put my hand on her chest when Robbin suggest I feel how her breathing had changed. No matter how prepared I may have thought I was that my mother was taking her last journey, I was not. I did give my mother “permission” to leave us and go off with my dad and her parents and siblings. I asked her to send my love to all she reunited with. But it was not my permission she needed! My mother was ready; she was tired.

walkbesideus

From the moment she took her last breath until the Funeral Director came, I stayed with her (except for a few short breaks to use the bathroom or speak to someone outside the room.) I felt compelled to be by her side and not leave her alone in death. I touched her occasionally, more for myself, but just on the off chance, she could feel me through her spirit, her soul, her Aurora.

love-and-memoriesjpeg

I watched Jcare listen for a heartbeat and tell us there was none. I watched and listened as Hospice checked for a pulse and identified and recorded there was none. I stepped outside when the Police came on behave of the medical examiner and checked for foul play and determined there was none. And I was there when Ira Kaufman came to escort my mother’s body to the funeral home. Although they suggested I should not watch, it may be difficult, I watched, as they carefully wrapped my mom in her bed sheet that I lovingly bought. They placed her on a gurney and covered her once again, and I touched the blanket as they wheeled her by. I turned to the two distinguished men from the funeral home, and I asked them, “Please take care of my mother.” They kindly responded they would.

never-take-for-granted

And now three weeks later I am still picturing that day. I still feel my mom’s presence around me even though I am back home in Cleveland and the days I spent with her were in her apartment in West Bloomfield, Michigan. During the 2 1/2 months, I opened my heart and my arms, and I gathered her tears, smiles, and that is my forever!

These particular words from this song share my thoughts:

I never can say goodbye, no, no, no, no, now
Never can say goodbye
Even though the pain and heartache
Seem to follow me wherever I go
Though I try and try to hide my feelings
They always seem to show,
I never can say goodbye, no, no, no, no, now
Never can say goodbye

So, I won’t say goodbye!

https://myimpossibledreamah.wordpress.com/

 

 

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